If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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