I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
