it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is wine microwaveable?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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