know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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