Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
