I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize