I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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