There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
