you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
A+ Viking dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
