At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
