mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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