I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
