Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
pray to the hookup gods
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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