Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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