u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
