During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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