I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
