I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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