you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
