the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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