i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
