she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
