I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
