your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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