Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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