The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
