Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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