I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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