i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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