I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So apparently I’m into choking now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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