i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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