I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
