I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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