both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
