last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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