direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
