Please, let me fuck your mom
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
