had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
