nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
