I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
