what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
