Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
