I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
