I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
