Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
