I bet he comes in French.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
