Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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