It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
