yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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