1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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