she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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