I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
