Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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