I need to stop coming to work sober
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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