Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
