You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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