i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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