What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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