He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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