I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize