Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
